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You can’t imagine it, Jessie J says. At that moment preparing for her new album launch in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the parent to a young child after dealing with conception issues for ten years, riding high. Then in March she was found to have cancer in her breast.

The musician, real name Jess Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The record, Don’t Tease Me With a Good Time, was supposed to be an open book, tackling every ounce of devastation she’d endured since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with characteristic openness. The first single, her single No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The cancer. Later follow-up track, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and she was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly coping with her cancer. Four weeks after she disclosed her condition, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.

She shoots me her best “Seriously?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they inquire, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I respond, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” Cornish has just had to call off performances because she’s yet to undergo follow-up surgery.

We’re at a studio in the capital. She is sporting a tan faux-leather coat, denim trousers with ornate white designs, cream boots and big frames. Imagine motorcycle style meets 1970s Nana Mouskouri. “I feel like I’m in the 1970s and I should have a partner with a mustache.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the film. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She grins. Jessie is quick, irreverent and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is aiming for her initial standup show in the coming year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I basically roast the audience.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

Cornish was planning an appearance at the Baftas when she found a lump. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an test, and they said, ‘It appears fine; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘Yet I sense it. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they suggested, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d contact on the Monday. By then the singer had assured herself it was okay. The way she describes it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had a busy schedule.

“Just two weeks before from releasing the album after a long hiatus and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I log in believing it’s all going to be good, and she goes, ‘Please take a seat.’ The solemn tone? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your biopsy results have come back as high-grade cancer cells.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”

I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself

She found the surgery terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. You’re escorted. During crises you are wheeled, but then I just marched with a gown on and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been blessed. Without chemo or radio, just the op. “Cancer is awful, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. I had the mastectomy four months ago and my one side now resembles a fruit under fabric.” A further beam. “At least the nipple remains.”

The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “different sizes. The implant is larger than before. How rude! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a rough time. How offensive! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be ideal. Illness changed that.”

Previous Struggles

The singer is accustomed to medical issues. She believes her perspective on the cancer has been so upbeat because she’s experienced in physical challenges. They have often coincided with peak moments, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or shock, to highlight not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Sit down.’ From a young age, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”

She takes me back to her childhood, already beginning starring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was diagnosed with the heart condition a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as lightheadedness and irregular beats. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an IV drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She jumps ahead half a dozen years, and teenage Jess has joined the trio Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I secured a deal, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a collision and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a year.”

Hey, I say, hold on, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees